I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

“Mistress, why don’t you come back home? Perhaps the Disaster had avoided you. It should be safe now.”

“Right? You are strong, O’ Goddess. No Disaster can harm you!”

“Yes! Everyone misses you in the Garden! And seven or eight couples are waiting for you to host their weddings!”

…

Jumeng sat cross-legged on the ground. Her pristine legs revealed themselves beneath her wide T-shirt.

Listening to the magpies’ endless chatter, she frowned, waved her hands, and said, “Okay, I get it—but didn’t I leave some of my powers in the Garden when I left? Ask Master Oogway to host the weddings at my place.”

The magpies continued to flock around her, and she sighed, “Go back and tell everyone—if nothing happens after a month, I will make my return.

…

Yibei was close to his apartment, and he asked the driver to stop his car.

Getting off, he went into a store and bought dozens of thumb-sized glass bottles with corks to contain the Disaster Liquid that leaked out of him.

Unlocking the door, he saw Jumeng sitting by the balcony, whispering something to a group of birds.

Hearing the door open, the birds seemed startled as they fluttered their wings and disappeared into the distance.

“What are you doing?” Yibei said, kicking off his shoes.

“Feeding the pigeons.”

“I didn’t know pigeons were black.”

Jumeng narrowed her eyes and nodded, saying, “Maybe it’s because these pigeons have a black heart.”

What are you lying for? I know that’s a magpie!

Forget it; she would be bored at home if she did nothing all day long. It’s inhumane if she is not allowed to chat.

He shrugged and walked upstairs.

Eyeing Yibei, Jumeng breathed a sigh of relief.

It feels uncomfortable being under somebody’s roof. I am a goddess, am I not? But why do I feel a sense of grief?

In the next month, I had to find an excuse to say that my injury healed, then help Lin Yiqi with her errands and return to the Garden. Right, I’ve been out playing for way too long this time.

Of course, unless that boy kneels and kisses my feet, promising to sacrifice for me and buy me a lot of in-game coupons, begging me not to leave!

Jumeng laughed as she thought about Yibei, who always made her tremble with annoyance and would one day kneel at her feet and cry for her.

Meanwhile, Yibei packed up his equipment and stuffed it into his guitar bag. Putting on his coat, he went downstairs.

“What are you laughing at?”

Jumeng glanced at him and smiled: “I thought of something funny.”

“Like what? Your mom is giving birth to a baby like you?”

“Your mommy is the one who gave birth to a baby like you,” she retaliated.

“Damn, didn’t know you were my mommy.”

“What the…? Have you any shame?”

Jumeng scoffed, glaring at Yibei as she pointed a finger towards him, saying, “My cores. Where is it? I have been under your roof for this long, and you haven’t brought back a single core. Am I getting whored out for nothing?”

Tsk, what an ugly heart! She mentions this whenever she loses. He huffed and headed to the bathroom.

Yibei had no special merits. The only thing good about him is that he always means what he says.

Every time Jumeng asked a question, even if it was a joke, he would answer it patiently. On the other hand, he had agreed to help her collect cores, but so far, he had only collected a total of two pieces, and one of them was poisonous!

He would be embarrassed whenever the goddess brought it up, and he would yell, “I’ll do it next time!” And Jumeng found this cute of him.

…

The apparitions in the apartment secretly observed their argument, whispering amongst each other.

“I think they should get married,” the nightgown fluttered.

“Hmm,” the wig pondered. “If two urban legends want to get married, I don’t think the Civil Affairs Bureau will allow it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The eyeball grumbled as it expanded with anger.

Ever since the coat gave some of the Serpent’s cores to the apparitions to feed on, they, too, became stronger, and so did their negative emotions.

As for why the coat was willing to give them its cores, it was because it was the core of a mythical monster, and the energy contained within it was terrifyingly dangerous. It had no choice but to share.

Plus, it thought that it would be great if they could help the Witch out, and thus, feeding them would increase their overall strength.

Even though these apparitions have not left the apartment in a long time…

“I’m a coward, I know! But it’s time to change! I bet I could topple a tree all on my own!”

“Be careful, eyeball; you might get beaten up if you boast too much,” the dentures advised.

“I’m not afraid!” The eyeball bulged. “I am different! I am strong! Come! Let’s get rid of the cockroaches and rats in the utility rooms of the apartment! There is only room for us here! We… we are the… uh…”

“Tsk, hurry up! What should we be called? It’d be embarrassing not to have a name for ourselves.”

After a short silence, the apparitions were discussed.

“I think we should be called [I’ll Fucking Cut You Up With This Knife of Mine!]

“Vulgar. How about [The Holy Order of the Witch]?”

“[The Witch’s Little Tea Party]…?”

“[Plaguing Disaster Upon This Beautiful World!]”

…

Without the Witch’s knowledge, he was suddenly the leader of a covert organisation within his apartment unit.

When he came to the bathroom, he immediately locked the door and stepped on the toilet. He found three full bottles of Disaster Liquid in the ceiling, and after hesitating, he put back a bottle.

Two bottles are enough. If I save some money and sell it at the ghost market, I’ll be able to buy the first batch of ingredients and complete the formula, which will help me understand more of the Serpent’s knowledge.

He stuffed two bottles into his guitar bag and zipped it up, leaving the bathroom. Taking advantage of the sky not darkening yet, he was ready to rush to the construction site to transform.

Passing by the living room, Jumeng lay on the sofa, starting a new round of her online game, while the apparitions were huddled near the kitchen drain, rallying among themselves.

What are they doing? Forget it; what they do is none of my business.

He shrugged and called out to Jumeng, “I’m going out again. Take care of dinner by yourself!”

“Go! Go!” Jumeng waved, focusing on her new match.

“Today’s raid boss is based on the extremely powerful god, Jumang! It’s going to be a difficult fight, my party! Follow my lead, and we will beat it within three tries!”

Is she bragging about herself, then going to kill herself (in the game)?

…

Mmph!

Moans could be heard at a construction site, and not long after, a tall girl wearing red and white emerged from it.

Raising her hands, she looked at them thoughtfully. I can feel the fire in my body moving, but I can also feel it being suppressed by something. It’s converging near my eyes.

It’s as if a pair of hands were beating against the prison of her mind, shouting, “Let me out!”

She had a feeling that this power might break out violently.

Gathering her thoughts, she took a few steps out of the construction site and looked down.

Her pristine legs revealed themselves through her oversized coat.

With the autumn wind blowing, it made her thighs feel chilly.

“Coat, could you turn into something warm? It’s getting cold.”

Trembling slightly, the coat squirmed as it turned into a professional white shirt and a black, hip-hugging skirt. It gave her black pantyhose, covering her legs.

“Where did you learn all this from? This feels restrictive, tacky, and uninteresting.”

The coat was silent as it tried to decipher its mistress’ request. Then, it squirmed again and transformed into blue and white sports attire, reminiscent of something from high school.

Looking down, she blushed, noting the lines and curves of her body pressed tightly against the constrictive attire.

I’m covered up, but why do I feel like I’m much more revealing? 

Forget it. I can only settle for this for now; otherwise, something might happen!

She shook her head and squatted down, taking out the bottles of Disaster Water and rolling up her sleeves, dividing them into small glass bottles.

Heading to the slaughterhouse, she wasn’t sure if it would be dangerous, so she thought it’d be good for her to prepare more backups.

Time to kill whatever comes my way with bottled money! Pay-to-win-for-the-win!

…

A taxi drove down an empty road.

Recently, Zhang Shan started his work much earlier than before because his live broadcasts have become popular.

With his new series [The Taxi Driver and the White-Haired Urban Legend], the popularity of his show has been rising steadily. Some studios even contacted him, expressing their desire to adapt his stories into comics or short films.

However, he declined all invitations, afraid of the very real white-haired urban legend. He was satisfied with his progress.

He felt that he couldn’t take risks. He still had to maintain a certain degree of respect for things he didn’t understand.

However, he felt that he hadn’t met her recently. If this continues, he’ll run out of inspiration.

It was Day 36 of not meeting her. He found that he missed her.

He was stunned for a moment and came back to his senses, slamming down on his brakes and parking by the side of the road.

What’s wrong with me? Why am I thinking of strange things?

Just as he was about to start driving again, the door to his backseat was suddenly opened, and looking through the rearview mirror tremblingly, he realised there was a pretty girl in his car.

The girl has smooth, white hair and wears middle-school sports attire, which adds a bit of purity to her bratty aura.

Looking at her through the rearview mirror, Zhang Shan recalled watching a movie featuring a girl who looked pure but held a lustful aura.

[A Chinese Ghost Story]…

“Excuse me, could you drive me to the Southern Suburbs Slaughterhouse?”

The girl’s face was expressionless, acting as if she didn’t recognise him.

I know who the hell you are! Even if you change your appearance, I can recognise that guitar bag from a mile away!

But… she seems grown up. Did she grow stronger? That has to be it. I thought of her, and she appeared. She must be more powerful.

As he thought, he started the car and drove out of town, and soon he heard a faint sound coming from the backseat.

“You’re quiet, and I’m feeling bored. Want to hear an urban legend?”

Zhang Shan was silent and nodded bravely, saying, “Go on, but you still have to pay the fare. I’m not taking your story as payment.”

If you’re pretending to not recognise me, then I don’t recognise you either! He thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Yibei was stunned. What the hell is he talking about? Is he implying that I don’t pay for his rides? I’m just trying to help with his live broadcast!

“Give me an invoice; I will pay for the tab,” she murmured. Besides, the Night Division reimburses 1,850 yuan for commuting expenses every month. If she doesn’t use this, she feels like she has lost money.

It’s important to shear a sheep’s excess wool!

“Allow me to begin. This story begins in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, and Emperor Ai was obsessed with the secret to immortality. This obsession spread to many other monarchies, and among them was King Yu in the southwestern region. He sent a soldier to gather boys and girls to go to the mountains to find a god.”

She combined her experience in the realm of the bamboo scrolls and the Serpent’s knowledge, crafting an enchanting story.

As she spoke, Zhang Shan listened, mentally noting down the next episode of [The Taxi Driver and the White-Haired Urban Legend].

…

Zhang Shan was enthralled by the story. When he came back to his senses, he found himself about a hundred metres away from the slaughterhouse, and cold sweat flooded his back.

Oh my god, if I hadn’t realised, I would have just driven in.

Meanwhile, Yibei was delighted. As expected, Zhang Shan would drive me straight to the entrance!

As they thought about it, the car was quiet.

“The fare. 97 yuan.”

“Uh, right, let me scan your QR code to pay,” the Witch said, taking out her mobile phone and leaning forward, paying him a total of 300 yuan.

Before he could say anything, she had already grabbed her bag and trotted towards the slaughterhouse. Her figure was soon swallowed by the darkness.

They were obviously in the wilderness, but he couldn’t hear the wind, the cicadas, the insects, or the birds.

Swallowing, he silently turned on his radio, played the song Déjà Vu by Initial D, and fixed his eyes on the steering wheel as he accelerated out of the suburbs.

And just like that, the Witch and her noble steed were reconnected.

…

Yibei thought that, apart from the suspicious man she met in the afternoon, she would be the first to arrive at the slaughterhouse. However, she didn’t expect to find somebody already waiting.

It was a girl with blonde hair and pigtails, wearing a typical Japanese school uniform. Her skin was tanned, and the hem of her top was tied in a tight knot, revealing her waist. Underneath her plaid skirt, she wore black knee-length socks.

Haven’t I seen you somewhere? She squinted her eyes and looked at the girl. At this moment, the girl noticed her presence and raised her head. She was stunned, as if she were facing a formidable enemy, but revealed a sinister smile.

“Oh! I recognise you!” The Witch pointed at the girl and shouted.

The girl froze.

How?